In the Moment

People often say: The moment is now.

I couldn't agree more of how great it feels to be devoting myself fully to the tasks, assignments, and responsibilities that I am accounted for. This week was one of those that I would consider a killer-week, again. I guess no one could be busier than I was on Wednesday, when I had to literally mark down my itinerary of the day: 9:30am do this, 10:45am do that... up till 10pm that day. It was crazy.

Yet, I feel that life has to be "full" in order for us to see the interactions between people and between things. You begin to realize the need to prioritize your agendas and set aside items that may not require as much attention for the moment. And this moment, is life.

Life doesn't have to be fuzzy; it doesn't have to be a hip-hooray all the way. When you are really enjoying what you are doing in the moment, that is a good life. In fact, many people would agree with me that a great life is one that you wish tomorrows come quicker.

Remember those days as kids when we often tell our peers who we want to be when we grow up. "I want to be a policeman," "I want to own a BMW," "I want to live in a castle," etc. Those were the days we look forward to every new mornings, waiting to grow up (while not realizing that growth is extant).

Nonetheless, we are quickly beaten down by the brutal realities of the grown-ups world. We tend to forget the essential element of life, of which a child could have told it right - just go to bed and wake up right the next day!

The moment is now.

To much extent, I believe there is no other times better than now doing what is on your mind. Don't hesitate, don't procrastinate - you will lose that "omph" very soon if you give way to lethargy. A good saying that I learn at a young age goes: at the street of by-and-by, one will arrive at the house of never. No one can predict what exactly will happen tomorrow. So, why not now?

Adore the moment, take pleasure in it now. And let's look forward to a brighter tomorrow!

life, moment, today, tomorrow

Face Down

You thought you're strong
But then came the storm
Can't figure what's wrong
You just lost that basic form
Which sings the praising song

You were quickly broken down
Lost, and never been found
In the ocean that sinks and drown
Out! Your most sincere inner sound
Face down

Out of a sudden came Thee
With a notion of comforting love
Won't you agree
It's like a peaceful dove
Gently puts you to your knee

Sorry, you said
And forgive me, Father
Even with all that has bled
Nobody has loved you more than ever
Come, to the Father

- "Face Down," written Sunday, a mellow afternoon with a touch of drizzling rain.

Happines is a choice

I came across this book - "Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps To Living At Your Full Potential" by Joel Osteen, a prestige senior pastor at Lakewood Church, Texas.

I was supposed to return this book from a friend to my cell group leader, so before I saw her on Sunday I took a glance at the book. I was very attracted to his writing, especially on the topic of happiness.

I see a lot of the so-called "emo" post/status update on the Facebook everyday. Whether or not those are the true voices from these facebookers, I still take them as they are. It always strikes my mind, thinking if God is really fair to everyone.

If so, why are there people who worked hard didn't get reasonable payback whilst those who cheat around will get their hands on what they crave for?

My inner soul speaks of God is fair.

Reason being, we cannot use our tiny-little-sinful-immature-reckless-Godmade-human-mind to measure God's mind. Our understanding of God's intention and plans is never comparable to God Himself - just like a dust in the galaxy.

Who are we to judge if God, our maker, is doing it right or wrong for our lives?
In what authority a computer can say Adobe is more creative than the human's, its inventor?


What I really want to convey is that Happiness Is A Choice. While we are ranting about how bad our lives have turned out each day, why not set aside time to appreciate things in the present. The U.S. Census Bureau 2009 reported 1.8 death every second worldwide. That gives more than 100 deaths per minute and 150,000 deaths per day!

Now, say a simple prayer to thank God that you are still alive reading this statistic.

Choose a happy lifestyle. Choose to be happy. Make others happy. Just be happy.

I've heard so many times that "when life gives you lemon, make lemonade." Now, be happy that you at least get a lemon. So many people outside will have to hunt for lemons. So, complain less, and appreciate more. In that way, you will find that life is not so hard on you anymore.

Friends, never be down. Give yourself a good smile in the mirror each morning. For the rest of your day, find your happy channels and live a life that is fulfilling.

Cheers, may today be your breakthrough!

Importance of A's

I listened to the radio FM 88.1 on my way to work on Monday and the DJs were discussing over a debatable topic with their call-in audience.

"Is getting A's important for students?"

Initially, I thought it was a very lame topic. However, after listening to many opinions of the public, I had the urge to call in too. But I did not anyway because I was driving. Thus, I want to make my points here.

First, I think A's should not be used as a measurement for a student's ability. Many parents always ask for straight A's from their children. Many of them think that grades should reflect "how smart" or "how capable" their kids are. That should not be the way. A student should not be judged solely based on their academic performance. Other aspects like bodily kinetic, musical talent, artistic skills, etc., should be taken into account too.

Grades do show how much a student care for his education. Ryan, one of the three hosting DJs, said that A's can be a form of motivations for students. I agree to his opinion. I think students can take A as a standard bar. If every student aim to score A's in their studies, I am sure they can at least score above average even at difficult subjects. Also, when a student receive A's on their grades report, it can be an engine of motivation - pushing them forward. In other words, these A's are promising rewards for their efforts put in, it can be very satisfying.

Nowadays, almost all college/universities or higher education institutions around the world look at students' scholastic performance as the major requirement for entry. Hence, it is certainly that a student perform at least at an acceptable level in order to qualify for a seat in their desired institutions. Especially for the local universities like UM and IMU, look at their requirements and you will be frightened.

Scholarships are definitely another tricky part of whether or not A's are important. Many of the students in Malaysia are classified under the middle class sosio-economic class. Many of them need some form of scholarships/financial aid to pursue higher education. Let's look at this picture together.

A very typical career path from secondary to higher education.

Yes, a LARGE sum of money is needed for education. If scholarships or financial grant do not come into the picture, students from a lower income family/with more children will have trouble continuing their higher studies. So, A's indirectly help students to move further ahead.

In short, it is whether we want to suffer now, enjoy later; or enjoy now and suffer later. Great saying goes: No pain, no gain. Or the Chinese would say, "There's no free lunch."

Now, is getting A's important for you? You decide.

A Fun Week

It's KiSiao group in action again!

Yesterday, a bunch of SEGIans or KiSiao United members went to sing at Neway karaoke and had steamboat session at Tasty Pot, just like we used to do before Jasmine and I left for the States.

"A..A! We've got Bieber fever!"

We sang for about 6 hours straight! The steamboat session was great. Recollected so much memories we had at college. The guys also went to play pool after the meal. Thanks to some "trainings" I had last semester at Lawrence hall playroom, my skill hasn't been bad.

Also, yea, I had an extreme makeover at my hair. I went for a hair cut the next day after my arrival at Malaysia. I couldn't stand the weather with such long and thick hair I had. Literally, I feel lighter and less burdening now.

Anyways, playful time is coming to an end soon. I am refocusing now to serious stuff here. I will not be going out so often beginning next week once my internship begin.

Also, BB needs a lot of help. The big project that I am currently involve with is putting together the music recording for 1st KL National Singing Competition. It is really a difficult task trying to modify the original melody and to add rhythm to the song. Nonetheless we have a group of talented artists and musicians so I think the turnout for this Thursday's recording will be fine.

I know, you might just find this entry some random updates. Please bare with me, I have yet to find inspirations here.

Cheers!

Tears of a mother

Haven't had I seen my mum that concern over matters in the Boys' Brigade. Yeah, sometimes (when I was still in BB) she will nag me about some things I do: not ironing my uniform on time, forgetting to bring my haversack, leaving my boots at Youth Center, putting stinking socks and underwear together with clean cloths in a bag after a camp, etc.

But last night, she cried over some "BB problems" to me over live messenger.

As a mum she saw her boys grew up under the BB banner; whom then took up leadership positions, and eventually learned making decisions for younger members in the company. She knew that different leaders have different styles to decision making.

She said she wasn't really wanted to be involved with how things worked, or how things "should work" in BB. Nonetheless, she wanted to let the leaders in the company know some problems she saw as a parent to five boys.

I understood what she meant. However, I don't know how to comfort her; I was once those people who stood to make decisions for the company. I personally experienced some criticisms from parents about some decisions I made for the boys. Now I understand how much my decisions had meant to the boys and their parents.

After taking a study break from BB for about eight months, my heart remains passionate to serve in 1st KL, though I know how chaotic things were...are.

From my point of view, BB is a space for boys to grow - spiritually, educationally, mentally, and physically. And the BB Object states: The advancement of Christ's kingdom among members (or Boys) and promotion of habits of Obedience, Reverence, Discipline, Self-respect, and all that tends towards a true Christian character (or manliness).

I suppose all activities and operations in BB should revolve around that objective. Every action we as officers take we do it for the sake and for the good of our boys. We do not want to do things that are self-benefiting (sometimes company-benefiting) or swayed from the main purpose of BB. I truly believe that Christianity and Discipline march along side by side in BB. When an officer punish a boy, he/she wants to educate the boy what he's done was wrong in the sight of Christian rules.

Even though my mum is not yet a Christian, she knows what's right and what's not. Many times she knows the important dates in BB, like Founder's day, Awards Day, Enrolment Sunday, camps, BB Pesta, etc., more than a BB boy like me does. I thank God for a mum who will actually wake me up every first Sunday of the month and reminds me to go for Mufti Sunday. Her knowledge about BB is comparable to a BB instructor. This is why I value her thoughts on most of the decisions I made as a leader.

When I saw her cry over the problems she mentioned, I knew it was really heart-breaking for her. After all, what's the big deal about getting the tailor to come late to make the measurement for uniforms, I thought. After listening to her insights, I learned that some minor things in our ways of doing things showed how much we cared.

Over the last few months, I heard her nagging about the hassle to borrow uniforms for my younger brothers so that they can join the seniors in some performances. I never thought these were big deals, I did that for the boys most of the time. But, she told me that officers don't care as much anymore. I was disappointed hearing that.

I don't know how many committed officers we have, but it is always the quality of work done that matters.

I pray that the fire in the hearts of our officers will burn in flames once again. I am not saying that our officers are lazy or what not; after all I wasn't physically there. I just hope that what my mum told me wasn't true. We, officers (though I am still a Staff Sergeant) had commissioned ourselves to service for boys. Like the 1stKL tagline goes: First for Boys.

Do we really put our boys first in everything? Or did we put the Pesta trophies first?

I anticipate about coming back to 1st KL and join them in all their preparation for Pesta competitions. I look forward to the day I slip back into my good-old Staff Sergeant uniform; and again listen to my mum's nagging about how my uniform isn't well-ironed.

How technology "rules"

The launching of new iPad, with so many people crazed over it, showed how much technology mean in today's world.

Just a simple question: How many of us can live without a computer/technology today? To be frank, I can't. Not even for more than 48 hours. The information system and the Internet are dominating our lives. The first thing that I do every morning is checking the email. It has become a routine in my life. I guess this is pretty normal for many people too.

Imagine not knowing what is going to happen for the day, freaky. Nonetheless, when we are dependent on something excessively, we are addicted to it. I literally feel "itchy hands" and mind torturing when computer or the Internet is not available in time of need.

One good and all-time-favorite example is definitely Facebook addiction. The professionals call it social media addiction. Many people, facebookers, can help to stop their urge to check for updates, messages, or to post new status on their profile page every now and then. We all know those updates are not very important, yet, we want to do it. It feels good, huh?

One potential cause that boost information media dominance is the shift in learning environment in this decade. Many classrooms in schools, even elementary, are classified as "smart classrooms." Students learn not only from the educator but sources from the Internet as well. Students at a young age learn to research and simply lookout for information to support their lessons in class. Educators commonly require students to submit their homeworks or assignments in softcopy. Students at high school or college no longer "write" their papers using the traditional pen and papers. "Writing" in today's term means typing.

I always think if we have a "backup" plan or Plan B.

What if the Internet is no longer available to us one day in the future? What will happen to the world? How can we possibly keep tracks of important database? Where do we look for more information, or entertainment? Where can I find a video teaching me "How to comb your hair?" And, social media wise, how do we stay connected?

I think we should be prepared.

This is what we do...

How do you get connected with your beloved family members while you are separately living on each side of the globe?

This is how it works.

Peace.

iNsomniAc ReviSited

That night.

Immortal darkness covers this hemisphere of world,
Nothing, but the noise of the people somewhere out there,
Shouting words don't make no sense.
Only if they weren't drunk tonight.
My soul rest upon the plain-white screen,
Not knowing which next couple pages would worth the visit.
In the nets of cyber I struggle,
And lost...
Concealing into subconsciousness.

Roaring inside,
Easing outside.
Very-so discomforted,
In the mist of wondering if the
Stars are punished by the dark sky, hence
Invisible to mankind. And
To the best of me tries to
Emancipate self-deviancy,
Devoting life, to life.

If this could help...

When you say...

"Basically," what are the basics that you meant?
E.g. Basically, you just need to do this.

"It's like or I was like," what you trying to compare?
E.g. When she said she's pregnant, I was like, no way!

"O.K.," is it really okay?
E.g. OK, now we'll move on to the next chapter. OK, turn to page nine.

"Then," what is next?
E.g. Then I walked there, then he came.

"Actually," what is not actual? Do you normally fake things?
E.g. I actually want to go classes.

"Alright," do you really mean all right?
E.g. Alright, let's move on.

Don't say things you don't mean.

These are some examples of redundant words. Sometimes, I just can't stand how conversations are "polluted" by these words. Such words are painful for the ears.

Let's work together to defend the quality of our language!

Of fate, faith, and luck

Do you believe in "fate?" Or it's "faith" that you cling onto?

I've always argued with my inner self that we Christians should not trust "luck." This may be why you don't always see me wishing people "good luck" in their undertakings.

Nonetheless, is "fate" similar to "luck?"

Dictionary.com defines "luck" as the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person's life, as in shaping circumstances, events, or opportunity.
Dictionary.com defines "fate" as something unavoidably befalls a person.
Dictionary.com defines "faith" as confidence or trust in a person or thing.

If you have Faith, do you still believe in Fate? Doesn't already God designed your Destiny?

I'm sorry. I apologize for throwing so many "frustrating words" to you, beloved readers. But it really triggers me when my acting class professor said today that, "as an actor, your body is somehow your fate."

It has been echoing in my mind for the rest of the day till I decided to pen this in my blog. One side of my brains struggle that I live my life based on Faith. It is faith, the truth, that has made life meaningful to me. On the other hand, Fate seems to be real too. When everything starts to fall in place, have you ever wonder why things JUST happen?

Oh well. I know this is not a topic that worth the time to think over. Yet, these are things that somebody needs to clarify for us. I don't want to live a life pondering why things happens. I trust that God has plans, this is Faith, I'm sure. He knows what's before us and how we will ended up be.

What about Fate?

I guess the following video serves as a very good example of fate. Some people are just so blessed with talents, may be this is fate. Watch it, and you'll understand what I meant.

He very-so good.

Let's spend the rest of our February loving everyone around us!

Here comes February

I want to take back my words, January wasn't slow by the way. It was really just a blink of eye that now we are in the second month of 2010.

Just got an email from my boss indicating that I am now officially the Staff Writer for the University Chronicle. My fourth stories, excluding my opinion pieces are published this in this week's publication. It is a good news because all my writings, from now on, will earn me $10 each.

I felt that I am getting more and more passionate about writing news articles now. I find it fun to interview or talk to different people, especially interesting people while writing my stories. The most memorable interview I had was with Barney Smith, a member cum the artistic director of VOCES8 choral group.

VOCES8 is an international award-winning Capella octet. They came to perform at my school on Saturday evening in conjunction with the SCSU Concert Choir's Big Sing Honor Festival Concert.

It was really interesting to talk to Mr. Smith as I have to try hard to understand his British accent. It was not so bad after all. I managed to jot down all his quotes.

Being a student journalist, my schedule is now inconsistent. The funniest time I had last week was when I woke up at 12noon on Friday, checked my email inbox, and found a reply on a message from the interim director of choral activities from the Music department wanting to see me at 12:30pm.

It was just fun as I learn along the way.

Cheers, life marches on!

Your-SELF

My Acting course professor raised a very interesting topic in class recently. Before I go further into depth, try this out. Get around 3 to 4 of your friends and perform this exercise, a very simple activity.

Raise your index finger, pointing it upwards, and keep the rest of your fingers to the palm. Without thinking, when one mentions about "self", immediately point your finger to one part of your body that you think it is where your "self" resides.

Did you see any difference?

I was surprised when this took place in our class. I had always thought that our "selves" only resides in our hearts, that's where I've pointed to. However, more than half of the class placed their fingers at the side of their forehead - their minds.

I instantly understand that different people see their own selves differently. This makes me think of the ultimate question of the day, what really controls your "self"?

Are you guided by your mind or your heart? Is your thinking that drives you, or your emotions? I am so fascinated. I think it is the society that we are raised in that shapes the way we think of ourselves. When we meet problems, do you approach the problem by saying:

I think that I should do it this way...
or
I feel that I should do it this way...

This really triggers me. Today, my index finger clearly indicates to me the way I normally deal with problems, I feel them. I am the person who cares how I would feel and how others around me might feel towards the way I may solve an issue. I am always concerned with emotions.

I will not say which kind of problem solving is better, but feeling something makes me sensitive. I am glad that I've found where my true self is located.

But, like Prof. Hyde said, sometimes we just need the tolerance for not getting an answer. What is self? Is self a part of you, or is it you? Are you your self? We don't need to know the correct answer to it. All we need to is know that we have a self, in which drives us.

Have fun looking for your "selves"!

Mom said:

BOY

Get up now or you'll be late for school; always take your breakfast, eat your bread and do not throw them away in school! Why are your shoes always dirty? Did you just play football with your friends again? Are you done with your homeworks? Do it now! Turn off the TV, the CD player too; have your lunch here on the table, not on that couch; help your brothers with their schoolworks; did you drink the pop I put in the fridge today? Who took it? How much you scored for your spelling test today? 4 out of 10?! Did you tell your dad about this? I bet he doesn't even care; arrange your school bags under the shelf or I will throw them out of the house; what time is it now? Get ready for your tuition classes; what have you learned today? Go take your shower now; Are you doing a concert in the shower again? Finish up your homework, this is my last warning; I said turn the TV off!! Done, everything? Go to bed now; oh, before that, kiss your daddy goodnight; I love you too, son.

(Inspired by Jamaica Kincaid, from "At The Bottom Of The River")

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起床! 你要迟到了，把你的早餐给吃了，吃你的面包，不要把他们扔在学校里！为什么你的鞋子总是脏的？你刚才又和你的朋友玩足球啦？你的作业呢？现在就做！关掉电视，CD播放机也关掉; 在这里桌上吃午饭，而不是在沙发上，帮助你的弟弟他们作业，你喝了我今天放在冰箱的汽水？是谁拿的？您的拼写测试成绩呢？在10 分 才拿了4分？！你告诉你爸爸了吗？我敢打赌，他甚至不会理会; 把你的书包放在架子下，否则我将抛出房子，现在是什么时候呢？为你的补习班准备好了吗; 你今天学会了什么呢？现在去洗澡，你又在淋浴时开一次音乐会？完成你的家庭作业，这是我最后一次警告，我说关掉电视！！一切作完了吗？现在去睡觉; 哦，在此之前，吻你爸爸晚安，我也爱你，儿子。

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While I was writing this as class activity in my Human Relations and Multicultural Education class, I recollected some scoldings or nagging that I would hear at home everyday.

How much a mother or parent can influence a child?

Beyond measure.

Just another interest in...

Theatre and Acting

I had my first acting class today and I was so excited about it. It was the first time I actually walked around the Performing Arts Center as I have to locate my classroom, well, it was an arena stage actually.

I like my class's professor. Even though he sounded more like a philosopher, I like the way he delivered his thoughts and had made me sunk into deep thoughts too. His name is Dr. Bruce Hyde. You can look him up on Wikipedia. He mentioned that he acted with some popular actors in the older decades. He said that his "peak period" was when he acted in Star Trek.

It was one of my choices (intentions) to pursue the theatre or film studies major here in St. Cloud State. However, knowing that I do not have time to lengthen my education in college, I had to make up my mind. I've decided to continue with my Mass Communication major and both Psychology and Comm Studies minors since I have quite a number of credits from Malaysia.

I am not an expert in acting, let alone singing and dancing. But I have a strong passion for it. If God would give me another choice, I would definitely pick up theatre or film studies. I feel that acting is a way to express ourselves, both physically and emotionally.

Many a time, we are constrained by uncountable life situations, debts, responsibilities, roles, commitments, just to name a few. These invisible threads had tied us up so tightly that we could not really tell how we are feeling. I believe the stage is a very fine place to express and may be discover our true self too.

I recalled the time in SEGi when I co-directed a musical for one of my communication classes. It was great fun indeed. Having a musical put up from scratch (with help from my buddies of course) was the most joyous memory I had in college.

So, I still thank God that I get to enroll into this acting class, TH 148 Acting for Everyone, to fulfill my general education requirement. I'm so looking forward to coming next class meetings!

Cheers for tomorrow, for everyday to come!