Not sure why but I'm just emotional today. Just felt that many things happened in the house within a day. From morning itself thing wasn't right in place, I skipped church. Had the "pleasure" to enjoy my overtime-sleep till 12noon. It then turned worse when I've got some typical nagging from my long-winded Mum. I don't blame her, because I knew her for nearly 19 years. However, from the nagging I had from her, I see things from other points, making me think a lot.
Simple thing like the toilet's floor is too wet, or there's ants on the dining table, whose fault?
Well, never her fault, but when she scolds everybody else, it hits my conscience that it can really be 'considered' my fault if I didn't 'volunteer' to clean them. OK, then I deserved the scoldings, together with everyone else.
If those of you had watch the recent famous Chinese drama: Moonlight Resonance, you will learn about the metaphoric of parents with the full moon of the 1st and 15th of the month: being the same. Unfortunately, I started to believe the argument that they may not be the same after all.
Being a child in the family, I see my mum as the woman of authority. I never fought back my mum, and it means don't ever. The words from her are commands to me. Failing to execute means punishment. However, I admit that many a time, I knew I was right, even when she didn't think so. But, that 'voice' will just be swallowed back to the stomach, I always remain silent. I knew that to her, silence means admitting the mistakes I've done. I just don't want to say anything else, that may give chance to the next level of argument, or may be just scoldings. Deep down, I know voicing my opinion will only lead to worse situation, in my case.
However, my mum doesn't only appear in the authoritative figure. She also has a beautiful side that I adore. She cares, she knows what's in us, and she handles most of the family's problem, except for financial issues. Things are just incomplete without her.
I wonder again, is the 1st and 15th moon really the same? If it isn't, then how different could it be? Why isn't my mum consistent?
I don't know, may be only God is able to answer this question.
Still, I love my mum for all that she's done. I believe mums are angels sent by God to take care of us. May be the Tham's had got a tough angel from God. But no matter how tough she is, this angel has given the best life that the children can never afford by themselves.
I daresay if it's not for mum, Jason will never be Jason.
Sorry mum, because I complained, while for all that you've done were for my sake. I'm not expressive when it comes to all these, so I never had the guts to tell my mum whatever I've written here. I wish she'll just understand.
For all out there whom may have got angry of the things you parents have done, I sincerely ask you to forget about those angers, appreciate the time you have with your parents, you may not have the chance to appologize one day when you regret. I know this post is too long-winded, well inherited from my mum.
I feel totally better now.
Thank you for your time reading this. Cheers.
