I am losing sleep nowadays. Always stay up till late night and wake up early in the morning. Coffee and sandwishes are great breakfast. 2nd Semester is coming to its end. Assignments are due this week. Finals in 2 weeks' time.
The timetable for the 3rd Semester is out, had just signed up 6 subjects for the next long sem. I have just realized that if I continue to take so many subjects per sem, I will be finishing the 40 subjects and graduating in 2 more years.
Many items are lining up in my to-do list:
-Show case project on 18th
-Final exams starting from 22nd
-BB Company Outing on 26th
-SLC Camp on 28th to 30th
I realized I'm learning to make priorities in my daily routine. Since Form 2, BB has always be the top1 on my list. Even during major examinations like the PMR and SPM, BB activities has never failed to be the prio.
I love BB. But the current condition in the BB has really pulled me down. I donot know what had happened. I have failed to be a good leader. Members are dropping out, leaders are slacking. I have done my part, but I have not done my best. I really appreciate Sai Hong and Kar Hoe, the 2 supportive friends in the BB. But, the fire is cooling down. I have lost the passion that I've used to have.
Capt Cheong was right, if you do not have a goal in the BB, you will soon find yourself left out. I do have goals, but something is proving to me that there are more important goals to achieve in my life. Week in week out, I am repeating to myself, that I have to go BB. I fear the feeling when it comes to Thursday or Friday nights, the feeling that the inner voice telling me that I have to go BB again. I hate this feeling. I have been telling Boys to attend BB parades, but I myself is not motivated to do so. I really hope that this will not be the example to the younger ones.
No doubts, BB is a great organisation. Without BB, I will not be who I am today. I pray that God will have His way in me. I cannot change myself with the little strength that I have. I believe God will have His way in me. I do hope I will leave a legend in BB.
The BB Object: "The Advancement of Christ's Kingdom..."
11:48
The feeling now is better, compared to 48 minutes ago.
